Panic Time??

The Caller ID said Great Wall China Adoption -- I thought about having a panic attack, but decided not to. It was our referral counselor verifying contact information in case we did get our referral next week. I knew it was not THE CALL, but still it threw me off balance for a moment.

The rumor mill is unusually quiet for the end of the month. Normally at this time, rumors of all kinds are flying around, but it's very thin. What little is out there seems to focus around a cutoff date of Jan. 10 to Jan. 13 of 2005. With our Jan 12 LID date, we are "on the bubble", and it's a delicate balancing act. I have the suspicion we may miss it by 1 or 2 days, but that would pretty much guarantee a May referral. Whatever the case, we will get some life changing news in a few days.

Things are very hectic, the adoption countdown, getting our stuff moved to the new place, and making plans for the disposition of the last of the farm business. We have been busy packing and have moved some things, but have a long way to go. At least it's only 7 miles this time, not 400 like the last time.

Will We? Or, Won't We?

In about 10 days or so, we will find out if our turn has come! I think we will fall short a little, but there is the chance we could get our referral in early April. If we only miss it by less than four days, then we can be pretty certain of May!

We have so many other things going on right now that we are not obsessing, but still it's right there all the time. The little girl who will be Miaya is waiting for us right now, even though she does not know it.

Please help us hold her in our hearts until we can hold her in our arms.

A Little Trip - Pt.2

The business part of the trip was educational, we learned a lot about policy issues in agriculture, and how the lobbying process works. Along the say, we met both of Iowa's senators, and a number of other top officials. We got the security process down pretty well, but it's always a kind of roulette game, you never know what each metal detector will trigger on.


On our free afternoon, we visited the Air and Space Museum, the American History Museum was closed for renovation. Seeing so many pieces of aviation and space history was a bit awe inspiring, especially looking at the primitive aircraft, and contemplating the courage it took to fly them. Of course, those machines were cutting edge technology at the time. It was interesting the see the number of international visitors there.

Although the fabric was replaced some years ago, this IS the original Wright Flyer, 105 years old. The engine is not the original, and the propellers are from a later Flyer, but it is the ONE that all of todays aircraft are derived from.

Later, we took the Metro out to Arlington Cemetery and visited the Kennedy grave site.

What would our world be like if events had unfolded differently on that day in Dallas?

I remember well the day it happened, the shock felt throughout the nation. The feeling that the world had turned upside down for a moment. That this sort of thing was supposed to happen elsewhere, not here, not in our land.

There were a number of school groups there, and we were a bit disturbed by the lack of respect exhibited by some of the students. Surrounded the graves of those who in some cases sacrificed all for our freedom is a sobering experience.

A Little Trip

We took a little trip to Washington D.C. last week with the Iowa Farm Bureau. It was a legislative/policy trip, so it was part fun and part very serious. I had been to DC before, but it was in 1969 - 39 years ago! I feel very old when I say that.

But, to back up a little, on the night before we flew out of Des Moines, we had supper with another waiting family in Des Moines. Both they, and their neighbors have daughters from China, so we got our "Baby Fix" that night. Supper was Chinese Hot Pot, a new and interesting experience for us, and one I would be more than willing to repeat. They also had two house guests from Tajikistan who were on an exchange visit. We had excellent conversation, and one of the men made a very good flatbread that served as part of the desert. We learned a lot about what to expect, and for while, felt a little less alone as we shared in their experiences.

The flight to Washington was smooth, and arrived on time. We were supposed to tour the Capitol, but due to some mix ups at the hotel, we were left behind with no idea where to go. It all worked out well, we joined up with another lady and braved the Metro (subway), and toured most of the monuments and memorials on the National Mall. It's kind of neat, up the escalator from the Metro station, walk about 50 feet, and your e there, right in the middle of the Mall, not far from the Smithsonian. We were able to see most of the monuments and memorials in the area.

Hopefully this boy's reflection is the only way he will ever appear on a wall.

We spent a while listening to the volunteer at the Vietnam Memorial, he knows his stories and tells them very well.

A Good Chance

There is a good chance, probably 50-60% that we will see a picture of the girl who will be Miaya next month. If that doesn't happen, then it is probably better than 90% likely that we will get the referral notice in May.

With an April referral, we would likely be traveling in the last half of May, and the May referral would have us in China in the last half of June.

Either way, we are getting close. We are happy, scared, worried, a bit impatient, and wearing a lot of goofy grins!

Back In The Deep Freeze!

Last weekend, mild temperatures and lots of sunshine pretty much got rid of the snow we have had for so long. Oh, it was not a lot of snow, but a nuisance none the less. However, the thaw, and the rain Sunday night turned our lane into a mud bog! It's a good thing we traded the minivan for the all wheel drive Mountaineer a couple of years ago. But, the rain changed to snow, and now we have snow and mud filled frozen ruts to deal with - depending on the time of day.

It looks like Canada is kind enough to send us another blast of frigid air this weekend, but luckily only a few flakes are expected.

We are so ready for spring!

Babies!! March Referrals Arrive

The referral batch for March started arriving in the US today, so far no official word on the official cutoff date, but it appears to be January 4, 2006.

We want to say congratulations to Cris and Brian Catlett from Arkansas who got the call today! We met Cris and Brian in Des Moines for lunch last winter, a very nice couple. It makes the process a little more real when someone we've met is seeing their child's face for the first time.

Eight Days This Time?

We are hearing rumors that the cutoff date may be January 4, 2006.

This would be 8 more days crossed off the calendar!

Eight days closer to Miaya.

Eight days closer to being a family!

That would leave eight days until our January 12, 2006 Log In Date comes to the top of the pile.

Eight days till we see Miaya's face in the referral picture.

EIGHT DAYS till we start the countdown to the day we hold Miaya in our arms.

Isn't eight a wonderful number?

Attitude Readjustments

What a difference a day makes! Well, not really a day, more like two years or so. It still amazes and astounds us that we are within reach of referral. Yes, the chance is pretty slim of something happening in March, but if good progress is made this time, then April is possible, and May is more likely. It just kind of sneaks up on us occasionally "hey, it's really going to happen", and quicker than we will expect.

We are both getting a bit scared, this has been so far off in the future for so long, that it was safe and easy to think about. At least now, we are working on the reality of Miaya instead of just the concept of Miaya. We are still getting our heads around it.

Update On Cutoff Date

It's official, several days ago, we learned that the cutoff date was December 27, 2005. So that does make us the 16th day ahead. Some of those 16 days are weekends, and no dossiers are logged in over weekends.

Hopefully there will be no problem clearing the rest of December and getting into January with the next batch. Obviously there is no real way to tell what will happen, but April is still looking like a possibility, and if not, then May looks real possible. So far, families have been traveling right at 6 weeks after getting the referral.

We do wonder how the winter storms might affect referrals in the coming months. Orphanage personnel have had their hands full just keeping the children warm and fed, and transportation problems could delay paperwork reaching the central office. Oh well, only time will tell.

China's Orphans In Danger From Winter Storms!

China has been paralyzed by the worst winter storms in over 50 years, and as is usual, the poor and disadvantaged are hit hardest of all. For nearly a month, some parts of China have seen heavy snowfalls and ice on a near constant basis. Deep snow and much below normal temperatures are wreaking havoc throughout wide areas. Throughout a large portion of China roads are impassable, trains are stalled in snowbanks or stranded due to massive power outages. Power generation is a problem due to coal shortages caused by rail shutdowns. Power lines are down in many places, and it may be months before power is restored everywhere. Millions of people who normally travel home for the upcoming Chinese New Year celebrations have found themselves stranded as travel by train, bus, and air is sporadic at best.

Many orphanages are in desperate straits, electric outages, shortages of fuel for heat, broken equipment with no way to repair it, shortages of food, skyrocketing prices as local supplies dwindle, and the lack of safe drinking water are putting children in danger. While conditions at all affected orphanages are not known, news is getting out from a few.

Half The Sky is a charitable organization that helps support orphanages with supplies, equipment, and educational support. They also supply medical assistance to children needing life saving surgical intervention. Half The Sky took their name from a speech by Mao Zedong decrying the lowly status of women in Chinese culture, saying that "Women hold up half the sky".

Please follow this link to see updates on the conditions at the orphanages supported by Half The Sky.

We would like to call your attention to Half The Sky's Little Mouse Emergency Fund . Half The Sky does not normally function as a relief agency, but they are bending their own rules in this situation. They are hoping raise funds to bring in or purchase emergency supplies of food, diapers, blankets and warm clothing, and heaters and other equipment to help the children in danger. We have made a donation to the emergency fund, as the little girl who will become our Miaya could well be one of the cold and hungry children in danger of frostbite and/or sickness as the crisis conditions continue. If your heart leads you to follow us in making a donation (and we don't need to know who you are), the children, their caregivers, and all parents of children from China as well as those of us still waiting to be united with our angels will be grateful.

Thank you,
Michael and Kimberly

16 Days!

Referrals have begun to arrive, and so far the cutoff date is at least December 27, 2005. This covers 8 LID days, and is more progress than most people were expecting to see. People have posted that they got THE CALL who have the LID of 12/27/05.

This would leave us 16 LID days from referral! Whoa, it's beginning to get real around here! This gives us a good chance of referral in April, and a better chance in May.

(LID=Log In Date, the date an application dossier was logged in (registered) at the Adoption Affairs office in Beijing, China.)

When good rumors go bad!

There is a website operated by a woman who calls herself the "Rumor Queen" who deals in rumor and occasional fact about International Adoption from China. On occasion she has good information, but too often, it is simple unsubstantiated rumor, and sometimes outright fabrication. The following was posted to another site after much rumination about her site, and the doom and gloom attitude of many of her loyal readers.

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(Somewhat embarrassed looking man standing at the front of the room) "My name is Michael and I read the Unsubstantiated Fabricated Information Queen!"
(Group of people seated in a collection of rickety mismatched folding chairs) "Hello Michael"

Sometimes I think we need a kind of meeting process to better understand why we are so willing to make ourselves even more miserable in this waiting situation. Way back when we were at the end of this long line, we did not know how long it really was, it kind of went down the block away and around the corner and out of sight, and we were somewhat ignorant and happy in our ignorance. On the various forums we joined, there was always speculation about the next batch and when it would be issued, and how many LIDs would be covered. Time crept along, we turned that corner and discovered the line ahead of us appeared to stretch far away and maybe take another turn.

There emerged a source, no matter how dubious, who seemed to offer some kind of inside information, and served as sort of tawdry clearinghouse for bits of information about the process. In time this has grown to gain a kind of questionable legitimacy, whether deserved or not.

Yes, I follow that source, a kind of guilty habit, rather like perusing the tabloids in the checkout lane to see the latest "Alien Baby Pilots UFO For Air Force At Area 51" headlines. The most disturbing part of this phenomenon actually appears in the comments area where the readers take the most mundane bit of information and in short order turn it into a full blown panic situation. The recent removal of the status box is an excellent example of this. Within a few hours of the change, the assembled mob had created numerous dire scenarios of nefarious changes soon to happen in the CCAA offices, along with dragging out several old rumors and hoaxes that had long since been discredited.

There was a time when I looked at that source and got depressed by what I saw there. Now it's more amusement and exasperation at how otherwise rational (I assume) people can can go so completely insane over trivial matters. I have begun to suspect that some of the greatest instigators may be scoundrels who are not in this process at all.

"Ignorance is bliss" comes to mind quite often. In part, the problem is a cultural one, we in the western cultures have become accustomed to relatively open exchanges of information, and now we are dealing with a different culture and a bureaucratic structure where information is a commodity to be controlled and rationed. And, we are struggling with it.

Many of us here are awaiting what may be the most profoundly life changing event we will ever have, holding our first child in our arms! In this context, the emotion saturated atmosphere is inevitable and understandable. Time, and the passing of generations has changed the way we view adoption. Never really shameful, but usually unmentioned, adoption has come into the open. I am sure most of us have droned on and on to family, friends and random strangers about our experience and the process just as we would about a long awaited pregnancy. Another thing that was not talked about in the past.

We humans are a strange lot, we create the bogeyman under the bed, tell tales about things that go bump in night, and weave stories about the sounds and the glowing eyes just beyond the light of the campfire. Seldom are we able to relax and wait for events to unfold as they must and in their proper time. We seem to be a species that loves to marinate itself in anguish, fear and frustration.

I once heard a story about a blacksmith who occasionally appeared to intentionally hit his thumb with the hammer, setting off a string of expletives better not included here. When confronted about this, he finally admitted it was true. Why then do you do it? "Because it feel so good when I stop" was the reply.

That's all I have, please excuse me as I must go put some ice on my thumb,

Michael

The Terrible Two

We hit the "Terrible Two's" today, the Second Anniversary of our application dossier being registered in China. After two years we are still waiting and hoping. Over the most of the past year the referrals issued covered about 6 days of paperwork each month. IF this rate holds then we could reasonably hope for a referral in about 4 months. But, that's if everything goes our way.

Welcome Home Chani!

I forgot to mention that Kathy and Matt returned safely from China with their new daughter Chani. Such a beautiful little girl. We hope they will come to Iowa sometime to visit family so we can meet them. Click on the title above to read their journal.

It's Got To Get Better --- Doesn't It?

The latest batch of referrals came out December 31, 2007. The cutoff date was December 19, 2005, leaving 24 more days of paperwork till our LID of Jan 12, 2006 come to the top of the pile. Yeah, it's kind of discouraging as we had been rather hoping for more progress this time. At this rate, it could be 5 months or more till we get our turn. But, we think it will be sooner than that. We are hoping for an April referral, and it could possibly happen.

We are approaching the second anniversary of our application being logged in at the CCAA office in Beijing. And, then there was the 4-5 months of chasing the paper required to document just about everything in our lives to convince the Chinese and US officials that we are not bad people and could maybe just possibly be trusted to raise a child. We have lived this adoption for 2 1/2 years now, and it permeates every aspect of our daily lives. Friends and colleagues often ask us how things are coming along and if there is any progress yet. We appreciate the interest and know that it is sincere and comes from the heart, although it also serves to remind us that Miaya is still in China, depending on someone else to care for her.

We read the online journals of other adoptive parents, both those waiting as we are, and those who have returned with their angels. We feel both joy and sadness as the words and pictures flow over us, joy in their happiness and sadness in ---- well, you know. Seeing those faces helps us keep the faith and hang on a little longer. As we approach this anniversary with still empty arms, we are filled with a strange mixture of emotions, hope and fear and frustration and longing. And the knowledge that it will happen, but still no clear idea of when.

Thoughts and Reflections

Winter so far --- It's been a busy few weeks here, the short lived ice storm I talked about earlier was followed by a more intense ice storm that paralyzed much of the Midwest for days. Hundreds of thousands of people lost electricity for up to two weeks. Se were lucky here, as we did not lose our power except for a few hours a couple of days later. The surprising thing was that for over a week after the ice, we had very little wind. As bad as it was, we were only a 30 mile per hour wind away from a true disaster. We have had some snow, but nothing really bad so far, just enough to keep the cows from being able to go to the fields to graze, so we have been using more hay than we had hoped.

The Political Process --- The Iowa Caucuses will soon be over, and I can hardly wait. Not that I am political, I will just be happy to see all the politicians go away. The Iowa press always acts as if having the first Presidential elimination event is some kind of an honor, and I guess in a way it is, but it sure plays havoc with everyday life. It seems like there's a presidential candidate behind every bush and rock (and under some of the rocks as well). The whole spectrum seems to be represented, including the fruits and nuts on the fringes of both parties.

December 14, 2005

It's official, the cutoff date for this batch of referrals is Dec 14, 2005. The 6 days of paperwork covered in the past month is disappointing in terms of progress, but some batches have covered only two days, so it's not so bad. We are officially in the 29th position in line at the referral window. It will be several months yet, but as we are moving closer it is beginning to get a bit scary.

A young woman who has family here in our town, is on her way to China right now with her husband to be united with their daughter. In a few days they will be holding her for the first time. Please remember Kathy and Matt in your thoughts, and pray they have a safe journey.

We hope to be following in their footsteps in a few months. We have speculated about this before, but with babies often being less than 1 year old at "Gotcha Day", the tiny girl who will be Miaya must surely be living somewhere in China at this moment. We can hold her only in our hearts and pray that she is well cared for and content as she unknowingly waits for her forever family. It is difficult to know that your child is halfway around the world in the care of strangers.

And we can only keep waiting.

We'll know more soon!

The rumormongers are predicting the next cutoff date to be December 14, 2005. If that holds to be true, the CCAA will have covered 6 LID days worth of applications, about average for the last 6 months or so. This would put us 29 LID days away from referral. Given the about 6 day average progress per batch since May '07, we could reasonably expect 4 to 5 months until it's our turn. We still have hopes that it will be February or March 2008 when we get our notice. If that is that case, we would likely be traveling in April or May.

As we approach the third Christmas since we began this process, we are not in despair, but do feel sadness at marking yet another big family event as a couple and not as a family. But then, we have marked so many already.

What a storm!

I've never seen an ice storm like it, 15 hours after it started, nearly all the ice had melted, leaving tree limbs as about the only evidence it had happened. Most such storms leave the area paralyzed for several days, with people out of power for days or weeks.

We came out of it in pretty good shape, just the one big tree destroyed -- not really a big loss, we knew it was hollow and in bad shape any way. A few other limbs down, but nothing really bad.