Missing Her So Much

How is it possible to desperately miss someone you have never met? Almost every day that passes, we think "Oh, if Miaya was here we could ........". Time is cruel that way, it steals the little moments from us when we aren't looking. Kim and I met later in life, and we sometimes think about the "lost" years we'll never have. Although, with the age difference, it's better we met a few years later! On our trip to Atlantic City, we were very aware of all the Asian girls we saw and constantly thought of Miaya.

But, I missed Kim long before I ever met her, though in a more abstract way, I knew there was someone out there for me, but had no idea how to find her. It's much more specific with Miaya, of course having the name makes her more real, but part of it is missing something you never knew you wanted. We know it's a near sure thing to get her, but there's always that chance. We think of her so much that she has become very real to us, and we are more than ready for the concept of Miaya to become the reality of Miaya. Oh, we still don't have her room ready, but we are ready emotionally and mentally for her. At least we haven't started dressing the cats in baby clothes -- yet!

The most recent batch of referrals came close to finishing June 2005, so we're officially at a 12 month wait, but it was still only about 2 weeks of log in dates in this batch, so we're losing ground with each batch. If this pace continues, we might still have 12 months to wait. Not something we want to contemplate. I guess it will happen in its own time, and there's nothing we can do to speed it up.