Thoughts about waiting for Miaya

This was originally a reply to a post on a Yahoo group we belong to that I wrotewhen I could not get back to sleep one night. I felt very good about it so I reposted it here.

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I heartily agree, the waiting gets really bad some days, but I know it is all for a reason. And, I cannot fault the CCAA too much, after all they are entrusting us with children. So it's good they try to be as thorough as possible. Yes, we would like to have Miaya home sooner rather than later, but again, I have to believe there's a reason.

I've been a farmer all my life, and we become accustomed to waiting, we plant seeds in the spring and must wait for fall to harvest the bounty, we plant wheat in the fall and must wait till the next summer to harvest. We breed a cow and must wait nine months for the calf to arrive. Some of us plant fruit, nut or other trees and must wait for years or even decades for the harvest to arrive. There are cycles in life that must run their course and I feel that applies here as well, every thing will happen in it's proper time.

Kim and I were both older than many when we met and married, and we soon decided to begin our family. We were very excited at first as we thought it was happening, but alas it was not to be that easy. We went to a clinic where we lived in Illinois at the time to no avail. After moving to Iowa near Kim's parents, we put things on hold for a couple of years, then began in earnest with a clinic in Omaha. Things looked possible, but in the end nothing was successful. Last summer we made the decision to suspend those attempts and focus on adoption instead. China emerged as our favorite choice for many reasons, and we began the process.

Though we endured many years alone before we found each other, when we did meet, it felt like all the alone time had been for a reason so we could find each other. We feel the same way about Miaya, and the time we must wait for her. We will get her when the time is right, and we and she are ready to be together. Yeah, the waiting part really sucks swamp scum, but we'll get through it and we'll get Miaya when the time is right. The key seems to keep busy and not think about it too much. And, it's mainly just about the wait, after all, it's a near certain
thing this way versus the uncertainty we faced with the infertility path.

Thinking calming thoughts in Iowa,

Michael