You have a duty to .....................

A couple of weeks or so ago, we went to see a high school production of the musical Cinderella, we knew several of the students appearing in the production, and wanted to wish them well. One is the girlfriend of our nephew, and without bias, I can say she played her part with gusto and skill, staying in character as one of the stepsisters whether she was up front or not.

The lovely young woman who played Cinderella stole our hearts with her talented performance. She played the part to perfection, at least to my unsophisticated eyes, her singing voice well trained, her stage presence and acting skills remarkably well developed for one of her age and experience. It was an experience I'll long remember and perhaps one day I'll be able to say "I knew her when..........."

Occasionally in our lives we meet someone with a talent that makes you want to tell them they have a duty to share that talent with the world. I'm not sure if I've ever had that experience before, but it is a delightful experience indeed. For one such as myself who has no real talent in the performing arts, it would seem a shame if such a talent were to remain unknown. I love to sing, but have no sense of pitch, I would like to play the guitar or piano, but my lack of rhythm and manual dexterity is also a hindrance. Kim and I have taken ballroom dance lessons which we enjoyed, but I have a difficulty finding the beat in the music.

Perhaps it's a good thing that I have been a farmer working alone most of the time, that way I can sing along to the radio in the tractor or combine without inflicting pain on those around me. It's something I really love, but without even a modicum of talent, it's frustrating. Kim tells me that if I 'd taken chorus in high school, I would be better. Perhaps, but it still requires some basic ability. That's the one redeeming thing about American Idol, I have seen several people with even less ability than myself!

I wonder about Miaya, will she have a talent and a passion for something? If so, I will be there to support her and encourage her if it's something she wants to pursue. To me that's the important thing, if you don't enjoy it, why bother? I'm often baffled by people who become obsessed with certain activities, in particular with sports. Ok, my family was not big on sports, so maybe that's why I feel this way. To see parents living sports fantasies through their children is a very sad thing. Especially when the child is only there because to give in to the parental wishes. The high school champion who still clings to that brief moment years later becomes a sad example of someone who's identity was defined by those few brief moments and was unable to rise above them as they were never given the skills to move on to other things.

What causes people to become so obsessed with a sport that they memorize thousands of trivial facts about games played long before they were born. Someone who can recite the roster of the every Yankees team and all their statistics is looked up to as an expert, while the poor fellow who is obsessed with a fictional universe is ostracized as a freakish nerd. What is lacking in our society that people feel the need to identify with a group, even an artificial group of grown men who are paid obscene amounts of money to "play" a child's game. Especially when those who command the highest salary often seem to be the most lacking in sportsmanship, and are celebrated for their scandalous actions both on and off the playing surface.

We'll give Miaya the opportunity to participate in sports for the positive aspects of learning teamwork and cooperation, and the sense of fair play and sportsmanship. But we want her to also experience music and literature and all the richness the world has to offer. I pledge to never push her to do something just for my benefit.

We face the raising of Miaya with certain trepidations and doubts, and opinions on what to do that will probably be wrong in many instances, but hopefully we'll learn from our mistakes and not mess her up too badly. Perhaps we've learned from watching the parenting mistakes of others and will not repeat them.

We all must make compromises in life, and I hope when Miaya comes to those decision points in life, she chooses wisely and well. I spoke of a sense of duty earlier, and that can mean many things, but I feel it also means living up to your potential, using your talents and abilities whatever they may be to the fullest. We hope to give her the tools to live a life rich in experiences and full of satisfaction in her accomplishments.