Things you think about while waiting................

The whole adoption process is about waiting --- as if the childless period of our life hasn't already lasted long enough! With the longest part of our wait about to begin, it becomes a constant round of endless speculation as to what is happening. Is a woman in China pregnant with Miaya at this moment? Has she already been born, or been left to be found somewhere? Will bird flu delay the process? Will some politician say something stupid and foul everything up? Will our dossier get lost? These and a host of other questions come to mind every day.

Its not all that different from the thoughts and feelings experienced in the infertility process, although the odds of a successful outcome are much higher here. Always wondering if there was anything that could have been done differently to have sped up the process, or to have ensured a more favorable result. Infertility is the last thing most couples ever think about, in fact the opposite is usually the case, fear of a "surprise" pregnancy! Life seems so unfair, we've tried nearly everything in the book to no avail, yet another couple has a momentary lapse of discretion and a baby is on the way.

Parts of the adoption process cause you to reflect on many things, especially in the home study process. Even though the social worker is on your side, you still worry. The home visit is especially tough, is the house at the right level of cleanliness? Too clean might mean you'll have trouble dealing with the inherent disorder that goes with kids, but did we miss some dirt that will make us look like slobs? Does the house smell funny, what does a good parent smell like anyway? Worries and concerns keep piling up.

Now that our paper chase is nearing the end, and the Long Wait soon begins, we'll find things to keep our minds off it as much as possible. We have a pile of supplies for making over Miaya's room, a crib to put together, and I am sure we'll "practice pack" a few dozen times to decide what we really need to take. And, we both need to get ready to lug a baby around.

It's really just beginning to get interesting, and to become very real!